TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
