He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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