Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
