I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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