Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
