Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
