can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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