remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You did what with his pubic hair?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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