I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He has the fingertips of a God
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
