Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
