i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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