Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
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