i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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