i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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