I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Randomize
