the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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