We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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