I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Piņatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.