Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
