kristin has been a bad kristin
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
bring money and cleavage
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
