He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
