Non-Jews are for practice
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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