i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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