I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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