so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize