So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
