I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Your penis caused this!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
