I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
