Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
