the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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