He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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