You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
