your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize