Betty ford says i'm here all night
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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