Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
