It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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