Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
