no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
