So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
