remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
