If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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