I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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