Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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