omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
