I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I'm really busy with my period
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
