Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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