a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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