chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
