we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
