If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
another moral hangover. fuck.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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