ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
