You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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