Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
