none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
