Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
