You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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