if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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