I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
