Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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