I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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