I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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