remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
