Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
