Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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