ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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