Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
